Why Don’t Girls Like Giving Head?

07Mar08
  • So, some girls do like giving head. Maybe even most do, I don’t know, I’ve never taken a survey. However, it is clear that some subset of the female population absolutely hates going down on guys (lesbians are usually okay with going down on girls). If you are male, and your girlfriend is one of those girls who don’t like going down on guys this can be somewhat distressing. So, what’s going on in her mind?

Assuming she has no religious objections to sex in general, she is most likely afraid of being bad. This makes sense – most straight guys would probably prefer to be good at going down on girls. But, there are two things that make girls more hesitant than guys.

The first thing is that girls usually take failure harder than guys. Consequently, a girl will tend to be much more embarrassed if something goes wrong whereas a guy will usually be more comfortable just laughing things off.

The other thing is that it is more expected that a girl will be good at giving head. Men are supposed to be horny geysers of semen and so it is particularly embarrassing for a girl if she can’t get a guy off. Some women, on the other hand, can’t even orgasm. And, even if they can, bringing a woman to orgasm is generally not considered a trivial task so there’s much less pressure on a guy eating out a girl.

But the thing is, it’s actually not that easy to give a blow job. For a first timer, a penis is just some anonymous meat rod like any other sausage or hot dog. To further complicate the matter, different men like different things so even experienced people may not be able to master it with everyone. So some girls will try to give a blow job, fail, and then refuse to do it ever again. Often they’ll play it off, pretending that they think giving blow jobs are slutty or something, but that’s just a cover. Chances are if you’re a guy with a girlfriend who is particularly opposed to giving blow jobs she gave a bad once once and is to ashamed to ever try again.

So what can you do about it? First thing is, you’ve got to get talking about it. Say something like “I think it would be so hot if you went down on me,” to get the ball rolling. Then you have to be kind of crafty because you have to address her deeper concerns without embarrassing her.

Basically what you want to communicate is that you know it’s not easy, you’d really appreciate it, and you don’t care if she doesn’t finish (I know you probably will care, but think of it as an investment in future blow jobs). Then, give lots of positive reinforcement when she gives you one. If she does stuff wrong, try telling her what you’d like her to do instead of what you don’t want her to do. If she doesn’t finish, take care of yourself, then insist that you had a really great time and you’d love to do it again. Eventually, she’ll figure it out.



21 Responses to “Why Don’t Girls Like Giving Head?”

  1. 1 Red Bull

    So true ..

    I experienced it all wth various women, though.

    And one method I have tried, successfully, on an unwilling woman is to go down on her, pleasure her no end with your tongue and just let your member hang around her mouth area without suggesting anything.

    Depending on how good a job you are doing on her – she will grab it sooner than you thought and blow you as good as you do her!

    Any endorsements?

    RedBull

  2. 2 Sebastian

    I just wrote a post with tips about how to give a good blow job — hopefully these can help! (quick warning — this link contains pictures with nudity):

    http://sexualworld.wordpress.com/2008/03/10/blow-jobs-how-to-do-it-right/

  3. 3 Mike

    Emma, we’ve discussed this before, but now it’s the internet so let’s do it again…

    Call me a cynic but I think this is a rather soft excuse (haha). Maybe this applies to a new relationship or some timid hookup but I contend that once you use this advice to get past that initial issue you’ll still have to deal with the REAL reason women don’t like to give head.

    Women don’t like giving head because they are inherently selfish and lazy about it in the first place! It brings them no stimulation or gratification after the initial “let me impress you” and “let me keep you interested” phases. Basically, the thinking goes “if I make this guy super happy doing the thing that most guys like the most, then he’ll like/treat me better/keep me around” or “this is what I’m SUPPOSED to do b/c guys like it and won’t stay with me if I don’t do it” (which is, of course, correct!). I mean, even a fat chick who gives great head gets to hang out with the cool kids for a while (I’m so sensitive, I know…)

    Once the hooks are in and the sexual dominance of the female is firmly in place, BJ’s fall to LAST PLACE in the female mind for important sex acts. They’re tiring, messy, produce an often unpleasant tasting substance, cause jaw and neck pain, and most women stop being turned on by their man getting off as soon as they realize they can do it whenever they want. In short, BJ’s do NOTHING for women at all so as soon as they don’t see them as necessary they get taken out of the standard repertoire. At that point guys are forced to beg, plead, use holidays and birthdays as reasons to receive what used to be a per-session experience.

    Flip the situation for a minute and you’ll see the inherent unfairness… If a man doesn’t like going down on a girl he’s probably going to say so and refuse right from the very beginning. Not lie about liking it and then slowly stop over time. And if a man DOES like going down on a girl he DOESN’T get tired of it. He likes it b/c a man DOESN’T get tired of watching his woman get off, and for a lot of men they don’t frequently get to see that during intercourse and have to use oral or watch her masturbate. Not to mention that going down on a girl includes ALL the negative drawbacks and side effects of going down on a guy but tends to take MUCH longer and depending on the bucking action of the female it can get much more physically tiring (oh, and chicks don’t have to worry about scraping away all the skin on the bottom of their tongues and talking funny afterward!)

    So with that said, how does one avoid this occurrence? If I could think of one I probably wouldn’t be so bitter about it in the first place! All I can think of (and from what I’ve seen) is to either be lucky enough to find a chick who is just naturally in to it OR attempt to keep the sexual dominance on the BJ-receiver’s side of the table so the women doesn’t feel she can simply drop tricks without discussion (pretty sure that’s asking for problems there…). Good luck with both of those options!

  4. 4 Sebastian

    I feel sorry for you Mike. My ex loved it so much she could actually cum just from hearing me moan when she went down on me. It was wild.

  5. 5 jesuisla

    some women don’t like it coz is something that makes them feel bitch, doing that is embarassment, it puts her down, she has no respect for herself! so doing it they feel like that and guys giving head to them is good, they feel nice! not all these type of women like guys giving head to them!

  6. 6 Sara

    We don’t like it because its like sucking on something leaking runny snot.

  7. 7 Hill join

    It’s not that i don’t think I’m good at them-I know I am good at them, for obvious reasons. It’s just discusting, and unnatural. It is also degrading. I have never been one to be told what to do, and I feel like when I give oral I’m being pushed around, especially if a guy touches my head. I also HATE it when the guy touches my hair. My hair is not yours to touch. Also, I spend a lot of time and money on my smile-think about it, dentist, braces, whitening. And to think something so discusting is being put near my face and mouth is a horrible thought. As far as “returning the favor” I have never asked to be eaten out. If you choose to eat me out, that’s your choice, I didn’t make you do that. I also gag constantly. I usually end up vomitting after as well. Not to mention after 30 seconds my neck is in excruciating pain. Blow jobs are my biggest turn off. I would rather have sex while he’s taking a shit.

    • 8 Mr. Mister

      You sound like an absolute nightmare…

    • 9 Igor

      No dates for you!

    • 10 Caz bee

      I totally agree with you! I also experience the gagging from the thought when I was giving one to my partner and my eyes water and its just horrible to experience “/

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  9. The comedian Jim Jefferies has a great bit you can look up on youtube about blowjobs and sex in general. Usually, it’s supposed to be the man’s job to handle everything. I’ve dated a lot of women. A LOT. Almost triple digits. Of all of them, only one wouldn’t give me blowjobs. My rule of thumb is if you don’t go down on me I wont go down on you. A lot of women have stupid rules about it, too. Just a few months ago a girl says to me, “I love the way you just came in my mouth without telling me.” Umm, I’m sorry, did you tell me when you were cumming when my tongue was inside you? And some girls want their assholes licked, or during their period, or after they pee…..and if I like her I’ll oblige. Women: it’s just a blowjob. Get over it.

  10. 13 Caz bee

    I used to give my partner blowjobs all the time.
    Until one time I did it when I was drunk and I threw up and I’ve been put off doing it again.
    I’m sure it annoys him but I’m really stubborn and now everytime I think of doing it, it just makes me feel sick expecially since I hate the taste etc.

    Men don’t realise how bad their cum tastes. It is revolting.

  11. 14 I am Southern

    Do like I do… just stick your dick in her mouth. Works for me. If she don’t suck my dick the first date, she is gone!!

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    • I had one girlfriend that LOVED when I would cum on her face. She’d ask me to. She also loved swallowing, loved cum in her pussy and in her ass. She just really got turned on by it. She could orgasm from me cumming on her or in her.

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