What is it like to be a Beautiful Woman?
Do beautiful women even know if they are beautiful? I have never known a girl to call herself beautiful, but I have also seen how quickly women are brought down if they so much as imply they are attractive (unlike people who call themselves rich or smart.) Simply stated, there is so much of animosity directed towards beautiful women from men who “want” them and women who want to be them that most beautiful women will act like they don’t know how pretty they are. But, even if they don’t admit it, I’m sure most of them know they’re beautiful – especially the intelligent ones. Perhaps they see all their flaws and the tiny things they’d like to improve, but they are also not ignorant of the effect they have on people around them.
So what’s it like to be one of them? If I had to guess a one word answer, I’d say lonely. From what I’ve seen, someone feels loved when another person appreciates all the things that they value about themselves. Deep down, beautiful women don’t identify as beautiful – they are not born beautiful, most of them will not die that way, and they spend far less time looking at themselves than other people spend looking at them. Beautiful women identify as artists, mothers, and friends – as playful, funny or intelligent, and no matter how much someone appreciates them for their beauty their appreciation will always feel hollow because beautiful women don’t see themselves the same way. They may know they are beautiful, but most of them will not define themselves by it.
The other problem beautiful women have, is that in our society it’s frowned upon to barter your beauty like you would barter anything else. Wealth is obviously traded for goods, but even intelligence, natural physical talents and learned skills are regularly traded. A smart man who wanted an intelligent wife would seem natural, and no one would think less of a doctor who wanted to marry another doctor, but a beautiful woman who insisted upon an attractive (or rich) husband would be seen as superficial. That said, many people will want to be with her because of her beauty – in fact, many people may be unable to see anything else about her – but she will not be able to directly bring up this problem or talk to anyone about it.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, because I have a beautiful, intelligent and extremely accomplished friend who cheated on her boyfriend. Many people have been very harsh on her about her infidelity, but I think she was giving up a lot more than her boyfriend because a lot more people wanted to sleep with her than sleep with him – perhaps he would find it just as difficult to be faithful if women were throwing themselves at him the same way.
What if, instead of cheating on him, she had married him? Thirty years down the line, her beauty would begin to fade, but he might have been rich and successful and young women might start paying him more attention. If he failed the same test she failed, he would have dumped her for a younger more attractive woman, but she would have lost thirty years of her life.
Thing is, when a beautiful young woman commits to a relationship, she takes on more risk than any other type of person. An ugly woman knows she’s appreciated for her personality or something else which will probably last a lifetime (or at least until senility), and a man’s attractiveness is often based more in his success (i.e. things he’s likely to appreciate about himself also) than his appearance. A beautiful woman could waste decades with someone who doesn’t even care about who she is. Perhaps in that case we could blame her for her bad taste, but often the type of nice guys who appreciate women for their personalities won’t even be able to get to know her because so many superficial jerks are vying for her attention.
If you are a beautiful woman, I’d recommend spending some time with a bad haircut before you marry anyone.
Filed under: Beauty, Relationships | 14 Comments
Tags: attractive, beautiful, beautiful woman, beautiful women, envy, lust, pretty, superficial