That’s an easy comment to make, that most men don’t give a shit… but in those cases one would hope that the relationship itself would wither and die if the woman was smart enough to find her way out of it, or that the man who doesn’t care about the woman would quickly leave her when the sex stops.

I think the larger issue exists in long term situations where both people actually DO care about each other. That’s why there is any credibility at all to scientific research of FSAD… women are saying “yes I’m in a healthy relationship and I feel physically fine but I’m still not in the mood to be sexual” and they want to know why.

Also… I do think gender plays a large part in miscommunication, and a man who cares deeply for his partner may just not be getting this message across in a way that resonates deeply enough with her.

Also, Wendy is a fucking moron.

Most women want to be cared for, and most men don’t give a shit about the woman they’re with.

“You don’t love me as me, you love me as a woman.”

A wise woman said to me:

“I only care about intention.”

Intention does not wear off.

Ohmmm…

I’m in the FSAD/Birth Control camp (because the “she’s not horny b/c you’re just an asshole” theory doesn’t fly with me). Of course there are emotional and mental factors as well, but I do believe BC is a cause, even if it’s just causing dryness/more difficult sex… everything is linked together and one thing will compound the rest. Although I do think it’s more than that… i think it’s a long lasting effect diminishing effect

Personally, I think the largest issues arise when you are monogamous and with the same person over an extended period of time. If you meet, say, in college and get used to the constant stream of hot college sex (youthful energy + limited time [wanting what you can't always have] + lots of hormones) and then you move in together later (full time job sapping energy – unlimited time to do it["there's always tomorrow mentality] – initial hormone swell worn off) and the sex seems to near evaporate compared to previous levels… well that’s gonna lead to some arguments. And the males body will continue to overrule his mind even though he is likely just as stressed, drained, etc as his partner he’ll be more apt to ignore those factors for a long time until he trains himself that it is indeed OK to not have sex all the time.

Thats fucking hard though. Doesn’t happen overnight.

Novelty does play a role in sex though… in a similar rat study they found that if they took a rat and made him completely exhausted from fucking the same rat, to the point where he just could not fuck anymore, and then put a NEW rat in the cage with him, he’d try to fuck that new rat despite his exhaustion.

I think that a new partner would probably re-energize a person sexually… but likely only for a brief time. If it’s a rebound situation I’d say 3 months. If it’s a secret affair maybe 6. But in the end everyone lands back in the same place…

… or at least that’s what I keep telling myself when I mourn my lost sex life

It’s a trade off I think.